Reflection
by lady arcadia
Summary: She replied. "I will always love you. And I'll wait for you to come back as one person rather than two. I just want it to be you and me. That's all." this is a story abt if Damon Salvatore ever fell in love again. DS OC Romance, angst, drama


_**Reflection**_

Author's note: Damon Salvatore isn't mine unfortunately. The nameless girl and the plot is.

The cliff sheered down to a vast expanse of endless blue ocean, its inkier colours flowing into the sky's lighter blues. It wasn't for nothing that the ocean was called the "other sky" for both of them were two halves of a whole, perfect mirror images. They stretched on till infinity in complete harmony, the ripples of the water complementing the windy waves in the sky. From the eyes of one who saw it sitting on top of the cliff, the moving painting in front of her reflected everything that should have been in her life and nothing that was there. She _should _have been his other half, only she saw that someone else's ghost had taken her place. He _should_ have walked next to her, yet it always seemed that she met him only to lag behind. Now sitting on the edge of this cliff, she realized that her destiny had brought the state of her mind to life.

She was at the edge of her life, at the very limit of all she had known. The wind gently pulled at her long hair, soothing her as does a curious peace when a point comes in life where one doesn't know what to do. She was quite literally at the brink and she knew that any decision she made now, at this moment, would affect her life completely and forever. Behind her lay all she knew yet the familiarity of the ruins of her life weren't any solace. In front of her lay a lack of options so complete that they were endless. She could go in any direction she wanted and where once such a feeling of walking on air would have frightened the life out of her, now, she realized that all she needed to do after all to walk on air was to float.

Just then, a shadow fell over her. Without glancing behind her, she said, "Why are you here?" She knew who it was. Had known from the minute he had walked into her space. She had once told him that to her, he was like her own breath, all important and involuntary. She could no longer separate him, the memories of him, from herself than she could her own skin. They buzzed around her with everything she did, reminding her of how his hair swept back from his forehead, the curve of his smile when she smiled and on it went. When she had left him, it had almost killed her inside because her entire being had been joint to his. Tearing apart those memories, their laughter, their whispers had been more painful than leaving him physically. And now he was back and she could feel the joining take place again. They were like wind and water, causing ripples but inseparable, at least in her mind.

"Why did you leave?" he slashed back. He had always reminded her of a blade; sleek, smooth and lethally sharp. And while you could love a blade, the moment you hugged it close it would cut you. Her heart was still bleeding.

"Because I couldn't stay." She replied simply and left it that. Behind her, she could almost feel the waves of frustration exuding off of him. He was going to try some new track now.

"Aren't you going to even look at me?" he snapped defensively, immediately putting her in the wrong. Still she could sense the genuine bewilderment running through his voice. She wanted to laugh at his confusion. It wasn't his fault really. From the very beginning, She had never ever turned away from him. In fact, from the moment she had met him, everything in her had been oriented in his direction. And now he couldn't understand her denying him.

"I can't" she replied. "I can't bear to see me looking at you and not finding myself in your eyes. All I see is her." And despite having found her peace, she felt the pain bubbling up to the surface. Being at peace meant surrendering but that didn't make the hurt go away. It was a contradiction in terms but then when were human emotions ever straight and simple?

"I don't know what you're talking about" came the immediate reply. "I can't have a conversation like this!"

"And that's why I should turn around? Because _you_ can't have a conversation like this? What about me? That's what the problem has been since the beginning" she said despairingly. "It has always been about what _you_ want and me giving it to you. Even then, I was nowhere being close to you because there was always someone else in your mind, in your thoughts." After a pause, she added softly, "even in your dreams"

"Stop the drama now. I told you about that and if you still don't get it…." The pain burst through her and now there was no peace left. She felt like there were shards of glass lining the inside of her skin. Standing up, she turned towards him, dignity wrapped around her like a protective cloak. Instantly, she felt that peculiar buzz wash over her that only came when she saw him. Even now his sharp aristocratic features made her heart tremble and her senses come alive. But it was his eyes which always sharpened reality around her. They were blue like the sky and the ocean, which meant that they could be turbulent and dark or icy and cutting or soft and warm. She just let the sight of him seep into her; stored away in her brain for a time when memories were the only remainder she would have of him.

"This isn't drama. This is my life." She replied as calmly as she could. "And no I don't get it. I don't get it why every time I turn to hug you, you turn away. Whenever, I want to talk to you, you always have something better to do. Even when I'm in your bed, you can't let me hold you." Shuddering, she wrapped her arms around herself, "if that's all you're going to offer me then forgive me, because I don't want to get it."

He was looking at her in complete shock. Resistance was the last thing he had expected. Somewhere inside her she wondered if this was such a shock to him then what kind of person had he known. It certainly who she considered she was.

"This is a trick right? To make me beg you to come back home? It isn't going to work. I refuse to let you manipulate me like that." He replied icily. Right now, staring into his eyes was like staring at frozen rain. Beautiful but very very cold.

And he still didn't understand. "No. This isn't a trick. This is me reaching my limit because beyond this…I don't know who I am" she shrugged. And then shaking her head she corrected herself, "no wait. That's not right. I do know that beyond this limit, I'll lose myself as I am right now. If I stay with you, the new person I find will be an imitation of _her_. I can't do that. When I cross this limit, I want to be the person that I choose….that still has something of me."

"Are you crazy? You're not making any sense at all. I don't want you to be like her! She ruined my life! I was obsessed with her and that obsession nearly killed me. I don't ever want to go through that again!" he shouted in frustration, running his hands through his thick hair.

"Then what am I? Am I even there at all? Because to me it feels like in your mind there is only you and your wounds. I feel like a balm you put to cover them and I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be some drug you use to forget everything. I'm tired of being used." Stepping toward him, she cupped his angry face in her hands and said, "I love you but I can't do this anymore. It's the addiction that falls in love with the addict. It lets itself be used again and again as a means of escape even while knowing that the addict thinks of it as nothing but as a means of escape."

He grasped her wrists but didn't remove her hands from his face. "Do you expect me to sit and watch while you kill everything that we have?"

"No. I want you to let me go so that I can save myself." She replied.

"You can't leave me. I won't let you do this. I'm not going to go through that again!" he said as his hands tightened around her wrists.

Still she stepped away from him and said, "The only reason that you want me is so that one day you can be the one to leave." When his gaze flew up to meet hers, she realized that he hadn't even known what was so painfully obvious to her. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "I think you need some time alone to understand what you really want. You need to stop living in the past to actually have a future."

"If you love me then you wouldn't put me through this" he replied, his words hitting her at her weakest spot.

"If you ever even thought of loving me then you would understand." She replied. "I will always love you. And I'll wait for you to come back as one person rather than two. I just want it to be you and me. That's all."

"And if I don't come back? If I turn and leave now and never come back again?" he questioned, his eyes narrowed.

"Then I'll know that you were never mine to begin with." And saying that, she turned and walked away.

x-x-x

_Six months later_

She made her way back to the cliffs, drawn by an invisible rope. With every step she took, she felt her heart grow lighter and lighter. Ever since that fateful day six months ago on this very same cliff, she had waited for this moment. Had hoped desperately that it would happen. Now, with her heart pounding and her stomach fluttering, she made her way over the rocks.

There, standing at the edge of the cliff, was the one she was waiting for. Despite wanting to run to him, she walked slowly, measuring her steps. She was barely five steps away from him when he turned around and what she saw in his eyes made her run to him. He immediately wrapped her close and they stood like that, matching heartbeat to heartbeat. When she looked up at him again, she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

For the very first time since she saw him, she saw herself in his eyes.

**A/N: Please review and let me know what you think**


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